Publication on Elephant Journal
Gone are the days where I allow anyone to attempt to minimize my essence and unique beauty—basing these actions on reasons that if I do not act as they desire me to, then I am deemed not on their side and unlovable at whim.
Love has no sides to choose that will make it then right or wrong, unless when being seen by unloving eyes. No division of itself is needed to be made from certain people based on actions that they take, resulting from their particular stage of being human.
It has no loyalty to keep beyond the relationship one has with it—within true self. Love is not a set of rules to follow. A reward for idealized “good” behaviour. It is what we are at our core, what we were before being conditioned to forget, and it is the most potent healing balm for all that ails our collective.
And I am that love in human form.
Embodied and whole.
Free to offer any bits of myself to who and what I choose to.
I am not governed by anyone’s limiting rules or withheld rewards that discourage my nature, asking me to love a certain way they need me to.
My love needs to be free and will be—because I decide it as so.
Gone are my days where the role of broken family leaders used children as pons to seek control via mind games. Making moves that teach the innocence that we are only loveable when filling an insatiable need to move us into play. Children are not chess pieces nor should they ever be used in any adult game.
Gone are my days of being taught that because of my or someone else’s inner-dependence and strength (which warrants them as not controllable by the ones needing to control) that this is an unlovable trait and distinguishes who is no longer welcome.
Tyrants need slaves.
And freedom-loving self-thinkers want nothing to do with that sort of system.
It’s a system that many of us broke free from within family lineage and is not a place that any free being will ever submit to becoming a part of again.
People can get so caught up in the broken lineage that, oftentimes, they will desperately need other people to act a certain way in order for that unresolved part to feel loved.
But gone are my days of being cut on anyone’s sharp edges, or feeling the pain of rejection for not fitting into their idealized molds that result.
Strength is in our ability to love, to break free from broken lineage, and to heal from the wounds they created. Strength is in accepting others’ paths and to not base a person’s lovability on their loyalty to the idea that someone has of them in their own limited heads.
So many of us are conditioned to hate, to “love” with agenda, and side with the ones driving fear. We’re conditioned that loyal behaviour to the tyrant would be rewarded and disloyal behaviour (no matter how outrageous) would be punished.
Too many of us receive the message that we are unlovable for simply being us. That, at any given moment, someone in an important role in our lives could just drop us like we were nothing. That we were, somehow, in their eyes, deserving of abandonment in the most obscure and heartless sort of ways.
The innocence of love and purity can often become prey, and none of the dark behaviour done to us has anything to do with our lovability whatsoever.
So many kids have grown up being conditioned to need to side, to act loyal and morally corrupt, despite the pain it causes them—in order to be worthy of love from these tyrants.
Make no mistake about it, though, none of any type of attempted control over another, especially innocent children, is in any way, shape, or form, an act of love.
It’s dark trying to cloak the light.
Being able to hold a space for self and the ones we love that allows everyone the freedom to love who they chose to is a gift from true love’s pure essence.
The need to control and limit this process, though, can be outright obvious or sometimes subtle, but both play out in a reward/punishment behaviour from the tyrant, based on what actions satisfies or dissatisfies the beast.
And this can be why so many people chose tyrants as friends, as lovers, as bosses and, overall, seem to gravitate toward these types of energies in general. Or, even why many during these times of government overreach say yes to all the self-betrayal needed in order to be compliant. But that’s a whole other story, though, for a whole other day.
There is good news though—anyone can break these cycles by becoming aware of them. By being curious about them. By being willing to explore what drives them and, ultimately, by wanting to move toward a more self-aligned way of living.
If someone in your life wants to base your lovability on what it is that you bring them of benefit or how well you behave in accordance to how they think you should be acting, maybe it’s time to break free and to take responsibility for your well-being.
My emotional well-being always comes first. It is not trumped by someone else’s. It is not manipulated to play a part in anyone’s shadow gunk.
I am no one’s free pass for doing their inner work. I’ve also come to see that a lot of hate, coldness, or meanness that I receive from bullying-type tyrants is because of their inability to manipulate and or control me.
So, an invite to be mindful here too, dear loves, ‘cus for some, we may still fall into that trap where our past conditioning will have us stop and still question, “Did I do something wrong?”
Just remember this, though: that answer is always—no, love!
You never have and you never will be wrong or unlovable for being exactly who you are.
And for anyone who wants you to feel or believe otherwise, who has either broken free or wants to break free from this noise—I sure hope that you recognize that tyrant energy and remember that none of us ever need it in our lives.
Not now, and not ever again either.
Be free to be who you are entirely.
Love whomever the heck you choose to.
And let not anyone, ever, lead you to believe that you need to betray yourself, in any way, in order to fit into someone else’s idealized and demented version of love.