It's Not You — It's The Parts of Himself He Has Yet to Get Real With


Publication on Elephant Journal

It was not you whom he lied to when those untruthful words left his mouth — it was his own self he was being dishonest with, while hoping, you’d believe the lies too. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.

It was not you whom which he pulled away from when he rejected your love — it was the parts inside of himself that he doesn’t understand how to be with yet, let alone love. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom which he couldn’t handle the shadow parts of — it was his own dark bits he has yet to learn to be with, to bring his light to. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.

It was not your lack of sacred worth, although he put into question when he chose to turn to another in disloyal ways — it was his inability to know and be loyal to his own sacred worth, something that still waits for him to question. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom he cheated and short-changed by being emotionally dishonest with — it was his own growth and experiences that he needed fast, not loving, solutions to. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you or your body he tried to objectify or seemed to lack the ability to emotionally bond and connect with — it was the parts of himself that he has disassociated with, not seeing his full humanness, somewhere learning to view people as things, not sentient beings. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom he sexually needed to feel powerful over and wanted to demean in questionable ways — it was the subconscious of a man carrying mother wounds acting themselves out in ways to be heard, to be loved, to be healed. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.

It was not you, whom he told “you’re overreacting” to when you expressed strong feelings — it was the disconnection to what he feels and his inability to express that which he suppresses that makes him unable to appreciate your connection to how deeply you feel. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.

It was not you whom was to blame for his choices or behaviour despite what he said — it was the parts of himself that he has yet to get real with and take full responsibility for. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom he was angry with — it was the space inside of him that he didn’t know how to be with when you set boundaries which highlighted the lack of his. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom which he wanted to control, although subconsciously tried to in subtle, yet obvious ways — it was the parts of himself that still felt out of control, from a past we do not know, that he isn’t able to see yet and take his control back with. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom was too much, showing up in all of who you were before him — it was his own multi-dimensional self that he has yet to fully explore, know, and support on his own. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It was not you whom scared him and whom he walked away from — it was himself, his own fears of the invitation to be more, to vibrate higher, to step into a more whole experience that you brought before him to face. And you were the reflection, the invite, and the space for that truth to be seen in.


It is not you — and it is not any of us.


We are not to blame for how anyone shows up or doesn’t in our life.


We are not to blame for how we are treated, viewed or met, in someone else’s reality.


We are simply the reflection, the invite, and the space for all truth, especially that which is hidden in the subconscious, to be lovingly seen. So be the reflection, be the invite, and be the space for all hearts’ truth to be seen in.


And remember these words too, whenever we might want to ever believe otherwise.

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